The Swift Life, Taylor Swift’s new social networking app, is founded entirely on two simple ideas. The first is that her fans go balls-to-the-wall bonkers whenever Taylor “notices” them on social media by blessing them with a like, share, or comment. As a hardcore devotee who has virtually interacted with the pop star a grand total of three times over the course of a decade, I can confirm this obsession as fact; a few years ago, when she retweeted my praise for Ryan Adams’ full-album cover of 1989, I had the moment immortalized in needlepoint.

Which brings me to the second idea: Taylor’s diehard fans are, as her “long list of ex-lovers” would all call her, insane — they obsessively pick apart and parse her words, and they’ll do…

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